BROTHER, YOU MUST NEVER LET YOURSELF BE TAMED 🐺 🧔🌲
(The wording of this is completely heteronormative, but the concept applies to all genders and sexual orientations. Adjust as required!)
As a young pup, this feels like it's about not letting the she-wolf tame you.
But as a grown wolf, you learn that the battle is internal and nothing to do with her directly.
It's your responsibility to not let yourself feel trapped, enmeshed, owned, tamed, castrated.
How? Here's the secret formula...
(Honestly, if every man does these things, he'll save himself so much ball-ache)
- Find a sense of purpose. A mission that is THE most important thing in your life. And no, it can't be her or even your kids (although they can be a part of it). Be open to feeling that mission change over time.
- Do the things you love regularly. But schedule them in wisely. Feel the difference between numbing/distracting and enjoying.
- State your needs. If there's something you need and you don't say it (for fear of causing upset), resentment will build inside you and will manifest in a way that will cause 10x more upset later.
- Regularly spend time with men.
These are the basics.
Notice that none them involve her needing to change or do anything.
It's all you, my brother.
For the pup, this level of responsibility feels like burden - unfair. His heart closes to her because he's convinced its her doing.
For the big wolf, it feels like self-ownership and true freedom. His heart stays open to her, his eyes not mistaking her for his mummy. And so he keeps her in his heart.
Or... if she really isn't ready for a truly free man, and is genuinely trying to castrate him... the big wolf isn't afraid to make himself a lone wolf.
And he leaves.