-Changing Patterns
-Creating Connection
-Healing Wounds   

The one thing you weren’t taught in school was how to relate. And neither were your parents. Or their parents or their parents.

By no fault of your own, the odds that you have the tools and understanding to create an amazing intimate relationship are incredibly slim.

With Embodied Relating, you learn how to stop repeating the mistakes of the past and how to give birth to new, deep and aligned connections, no matter what your relationship history has been.

Embodied Relating is a term I use to describe the body of work I do in the relationships and intimacy realm. As a whole, it is a multi-faceted transformational process for individuals who are: 

• In a Relationship and wanting to deepen connection, heal a particular wound in the relationship itself or bring polarity back into intimacy   

• Seeking a Relationship but without repeating the same old unhealthy patterns or wanting to break a long spell of being alone  
  

CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION

Often, it seems that the method of communication is where the problem lies when a relationship become difficult to manage. And while there are tried and tested ‘rules’ and formulas for how to appropriately word what we want to say (so as not to assign blame and risk triggering a ‘fight’ response in the other, for example), at the heart of conscious communication is emotional intelligence.  

This involves taking radical self-ownership of our inner world that cannot be achieved by simply being advised to do so or intellectually understanding that ‘we are responsible for our feelings’. At the heart of achieving this state of self-sovereignty, is feeling into (not thinking about) our emotional state – and this involves the physical body.  

The ‘embodied’ part of Embodied Relating, then, is often a missing piece in most relationship counselling that is tends to be limited to chair-bound talking only.  

HEALING TAKES PLACE IN THE BODY 

‘Triggering’ is the general term used to describe moments when an emotional button gets pushed and we experience an uncontrollable and ‘unwanted’ emotion as a consequence. This may be anger as a result of something that was said or done, a feeling of being ‘trapped’ at a certain point in a new relationship, an involuntary ‘shutting down’ in moments of intimacy or a fear of coming out of isolation – to name only a few examples, in an infinite number possible trigger points.  

In all cases, the thing that gets triggered is what can be understood as trauma. When we experience something that the fear-centre of the brain recognises as being similar to an event or period of time in our past in which we got hurt, it triggers a series of responses that are designed to keep us safe – even if those responses are somehow inappropriate or otherwise problematic in themselves. 

Unfortunately, the human nervous system is wired in such a way that it prioritises safety over happiness, love or connection. And this very fact sits at the heart of many of our problems, particularly in relationships.  

In an increasing number of healing and therapeutic modalities, it is recognised that painful emotions exist to a large degree in the physical body. Indeed, this is where we really ‘feel’ them, and also where the focus must be in managing a triggered state.  

In Embodied Relating then, a number of physical processes can be used to move through and/or integrate certain trigger points so that their effects can be managed/reduced; 

• Breathing exercises 

• Simple movement practices 

• Bioenergetic techniques  

   

What people have to say about Embodied Relating…