I'll tell you a secret about us men 🤫
Many of us secretly enjoy the fact that we don't get recognized for all we do.
Especially at home / with our families.
This is the masculine archetype of the Quiet Father.
He goes to work, earns money for the family, fixes things, and keeps things physically running in the home.
All of which is quietly expected of him, and which he receives little praise for.
When the kids are upset, they'll run right past him to get a hug from their mother. Because she is the first person they think of in those moments.
They draw nicer pictures (and more often) for her than they do for him.
Christmas is for them, then their mother, and then him, in that order. Sometimes, even pets come before him. He rarely asks for gifts.
He doesn't often get asked how he's feeling, if ever. At the very least, his inner world is certainly the least important of everyone's in the home.
And there are fewer photos of him than anyone else in the home.
Here's the secret...
He's not just quiet because of these dynamics.
He creates the dynamic with his quietness.
The truth is...
Those of us who resonate with this archetype take pleasure - a quiet pleasure - in it all.
They take satisfaction in seeing their families thriving. And quietly, maybe even subconsciously, pat themselves on the back for the role they played in making that happen.
On a more shadowy note, they take a kind of smug pleasure in the lack of recognition, knowing they'll only be fully appreciated after they die.
Men not receiving recognition is a worldwide subject that is, thankfully, getting talked about more often.
The thing you won't hear very often, is that some men secretly enjoy it.
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Note 1: My sense is that the number of men who resonate with this archetype is shrinking. It is a VERY masculine way of being, and masculinity itself has in recent decades weakened immensely.
Note 2: Yes, there are women/mothers who also do not get recognized. You don't need to tell me in the comments.
Note 3: This kind of stoicism isn't necessarily the 'healthiest' way of being for men. But... the world we live in was built almost entirely by Quiet Fathers. The construction site is where you'll find the highest concentration of them. Also, if you compare the Quiet Father to his polar opposite man - the Drama Queen Dad - most people will choose the Quiet Father every time.
