Admittedly, this whole concept was originally born of my mistrust of men and a constant anticipation of danger (thanks to some good ol' childhood trauma, yay! 🕺).
But even after much self-work, I've held on to the basic premise because it is also born of a very real and innate part of all humans.
It goes something like this...
I have this hypothetical scenario like WWIII, a zombie apocalypse or some other situation where I might need to assemble a group of men to come with me to do some bad shit - that we might not come back from, that sorta thing.
With every man I meet, I ask myself this question... Would I take him with me? Does he make The Team?
I'm not interested so much in if he's physically able to fight / has skills etc.
It's based on what he's made of on the inside.
I'm not so interested in what he can bench press (although, respect if you ACTUALLY TRAIN).
What I want to know is...
⚫ Will he turn around and drag me out if I go down?
⚫ Will he follow me over that wall?
⚫ Will he push ME over that wall if I freeze?
⚫ Will he go down fighting?
⚫ Will he be honest enough to tell me he's scared, if he's scared. And brave enough to just do the fucking thing anyway?
⚫ Will he straighten me out if I start to collapse... or watch my back while giving me a safe space to temporarily collapse?
Straight up, there is still a part of me that uses these almost impossibly high standards to prevent me from developing real connection with men. But that's not the part that's running the show.
This system of measurement is central to my sense of purpose, as I use it to:
1) Keep myself in-check. I want to be on the Team. I want to be chosen and not let my brothers down 🙏
2) Build men up. Yes, there's a 'bully' part of me that can use this to break men down, but also to build them up. I only challenge those I love. I simply walk away from those I don't. If I didn't believe in you, you wouldn't even be tested, homie 🤷♂️
The truth is, the inner caveman / cavewoman in us is asking a version of this question all the time when developing relationships with people. You are unconsciously conducting job interviews for everyone you're letting into your life. And how far along you are in your personal development determines how conscious you are of this interview and how high the passing standards are.
I use this 'going to war' metaphor because the truth is also that violence, or the threat of violence, underpins far more of our human nature than we care to admit (will post more on this soon).
And by being very honest about it, it's helped me point many men in a direction of massive personal growth.
And for me personally, it means the men I have around me are pretty fucking solid 💪
And of course, I'm constantly striving to be a guy who would make The Team, despite occasionally falling short 🤦♂️
If you can say all the men you are friends with, business partners or intimate partners with pass the zombie apocalypse test, your whole damn life will change.
And as men, we WANT to be challenged in this way. We want that responsibility. And it's the lowering of the bar, the loss of this type of battle-testing that is largely why men are so damn lost right now.
Men passed through a phase of personal growth when we put our swords down.
Now it's time to pick them back up and wield consciously and with an open heart.
❤️🗡🦁
